So in case I forgot to mention that I’ve been at VCU since Saturday, I’ve been at VCU since Saturday.
So today is Tuesday now, and this marks my fourth day here in Richmond. I’m absolutely loving the hell out of this place. But one thing I don’t love, is bicycles. Let me rephrase that: I don’t love [when you try to buy a brand new bike, but then realize you don't have $350 to spend on some bike that will get stolen, so you go to a thrift store, get a bike for 75% less than that that will do just as fine, have the chain break, bring it back to the shop, and have the owner refuse to fix it for "liability reasons".]
Yeah, so that is the long story condensed down into words, because I can’t count how many rants I have gone on since this happened, and I figured I should explain why.
Anyways, I’ve come to the conclusion that living your life to the fullest doesn’t mean being as dumb as possible. I mean we learn a lot about ourselves as the years go on, but I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’m not the guy who I keep thinking I am. I wish I could do everything, everywhere, all at the same time. I may never get to where I want in life, but fuck it, I don’t even know where that is yet. I just have to keep going. Keep going. Keep pushing. Keep growing, and figure out who I am, instead of this amalgamation Jefferson created from like 8 different versions.
Hopefully college will help.
God, I really do hope so.
Having blazed trails with many dead-ends before you, I know how you feel. But isn’t that the definition of life itself? It’s not about knowing where you are going, it’s more about having the confidence to boldly go in a direction that might not pay off, at least not in ways you might expect.
Heading off into a direction, and finding a dead end is only a problem if you expected great success in the first place. It’s in your nature to want to go in may directions at once. And that might be what is feeding into self-doubt.
Think about it.
If you move in 10 directions, and 9 are dead ends, then it seems futile. But what about the 1 direction that showed promise? What to do? Do you march forward with trepidation because the 9 other directions crapped out, or do you find the courage and hold onto the hope that this 1 direction might have possibilities no one can predict?
Looking back, this notion helped me find my way in life. And I had no clue where I was going. There was no map. So dare to wander while life is simple, and relish the journey. Let serendipity be your guide, and smile while you’re on your way to no place special.
Much love, son. Takes a real man to explore oneself. Proud of you.
- Lord Vader